You try to distract yourself with other activities but then when you are sitting quietly alone it comes back. At first the denial makes is so much better because you think, "No, no this is not real. I'll get a call." And after the denial fades it hurts so bad! SO BAD! And you want to scream. You just want to throw yourself on the bed and bury your tears, your sobs, your misery...bury all of it in the comfort of a pillow.
You need some time to be alone.
As the day comes to an end, the darkness and shadows of the night become a close friend. In this darkness you fade into sleep with a hope that you'll wake up and it will all just be a dream. Out of this same darkness and shadow something magical may happen. A person appears to you like a light you needed all along. Its the comfort of a person who cares enough about you to think of you and to say, "I know you are in pain." It starts with a feeling in your heart.
You become thankful. You smile. You remember all the good things of the person no longer in your life. You feel a sense of calm in your heart.
Pain is real, but it doesn't have to last forever. It'll change. For some broken hearts, like an ex, it means slowly forgetting. Or you may slowly let go of the pain of a friend who's no longer a friend. Or the pain of losing someone transforms into great love... because thats what their life stood for, it was love all along... it was the love they had for you. That love is so much greater than the pain, so if you allow it... hold onto that great love in your heart.
This great love gives you life.
Love always, Sandy.
Dedicated to broken hearts, especially for you dear friend, and those who have lost a parent.