Patience, anger, and perspective.
Patience: It was a Tuesday in September that I was talking to my mom about how great I am with kids. I truly am wonderfully my best self around them one of which is being very patient. (For all the parents reading you must realize at this very moment that I myself am not a parent, yet.) Kids can say and do things to make me mad but again I have great self control. I said to my mom, “I would like to practice this self control with adults. I’m not very patient and I can lose my temper with adults so quickly. Hm. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I am going to work on being patient and controlling my anger!” Then came Wednesday and the drive into downtown Chicago with the many terrible drivers who were out driving at the same time and the same places where I was! The Universe had granted me my wish of working on being patient. Ladies and Gentlemen I failed miserably! I became crabby. The good news is that I realized this about myself and acknowledged it. I chose to forgive my failure, change my attitude, and try again.
The following day, Thursday I woke up in a very happy mood until I found out that my Dad never informed me of a parking ticket I received in the mail a few months ago and so the fine had doubled to $200! I got angry. I blamed him! I called my mom to tell her what had happened. As soon as I got off the phone with her I realized today was the day to work on anger. I got EXACTLY what I asked for once again. I knew I had a choice and yet it was the anger I wanted to hold on to but then I thought about it again and decided it really wasn’t. I called my mom back and I said, “Ok, so, I am going to be mad for 20 minutes and then I am going to let it go. I will not fail today like I did yesterday!” I got off the phone, scribbled a letter to my dad that I would later throw away before he saw it. I played music and watched the clock approach my deadline and sure enough this time I passed the test!
Lastly, I want to share my September experience about perspective. It was a Saturday night book signing event I had where two women showed up. I felt sad. I wondered. I then remembered that everyone must’ve had moments like these when they were starting out. I allowed my thoughts of self pity and shame to shake right off so I can be 100% me with the two women who came to see me. And guess what, it was the most amazing night I had because we connected with one another in a deep and powerful way. I knew right away that a deep connection like this could not be formed had there been a room full of people with whom I greeted, signed a book, and said good bye to. I would have never been able to “see” this side of the night had I not chosen to shake off the negativity. Being myself allowed me to experience everything and everyone around me, then look back and “see” how beautiful life is no matter what.
Do you challenge yourself to be better? How?
Can you see the “tests” in your own life? If so, do you pass or fail them?
Perspective is a powerful tool. How do you see yourself in your life during those moments of insecurity or fear? Can you “see” past the negative feelings and thoughts to the real YOU?