Yesterday my car wouldn't start. Luckily I was parked at the school so it was safe. I was safe.
This morning I bought a $126 battery to replace the one in my car. It worked. It was running. And I was driving around happy as can be. No towing. No drama. No more adventure and I was just fine with that.
New battery, check.
Five minutes from the house and car shuts down. Hazard lights barely visible. I think I am going to die hit by the maniacs driving fast down Route 83 including the gigantic trucks so I jump out of the car in my angry birds hat and big white coat amidst the brush and grassy/swampy land hoping I am safer to encounter a deer, a skunk, a coyote, a raccoon, or anything else that will eat the granola bars I am willing to exchange for my life.
Freezing and awaiting the car accident of watching my car crushed to pieces or some other series of cars hit each other to avoid hitting my car.... I listen to honking and screams at me.
I'm really sorry people who are cursing me out but I do not want to block traffic and I'm not stupid. I turned the hazards on, they just aren't working.
Yes I want to cry. I'm cold, very cold.
The police show up and yes they hear my sad story followed by "I know, I need a new car."
My car is dead, but I am alive. I can replace it, not sure how at the moment to be perfectly honest but still.
I on the other hand can not. I'm grateful for my life. Sitting in that tiny corolla looking in the rearview mirror and dreading all the lights coming fast towards me. I was scared, no I was REALLY scared. It was the fear of survival. And in that moment, you do what you have to in order to survive. Fear is not an option.
I'm worth it. So are you.
Let's do this!!!!!
Got the world figured out?
I did, until it came crashing down. I had no choice but to start over and rebuild.