The first half of December I was in the United States doing what I normally do. The second half I was in Europe taking a much needed vacation and concentrating on relaxing. I was at opposite ends of the Atlantic Ocean so I got to thinking. USA/Europe, Open/Close, Day/Night, and Right/Left.
While celebrating an early Christmas in the USA I was with a very special person in my life who has had her own life thrown into “opposites.” Actually, right before the party I sat with her as she cried in my arms. In my heart I prayed to ease her pain, yet as her friend I didn’t know how to do so. I had gone through many things in my life but not what she was going through. I had nothing specific to relate to. I prayed silently for her to open her eyes and broaden her perspective of the world around her, so as to take this big thing in her life and watch it become smaller and smaller. By the end of the night when there was one person left at the Christmas party something happened. This person whom we hadn’t seen in years began to speak of the many years we had missed and the suffering she lived through. Her story was not only the relatable story I had prayed for but it was much more twisted and tangled. As my good friend and I listened to the story my eyes filled with tears because I knew a chapter was being closed, eyes and heart were opened.
Day and night happen on a daily basis all around the world. One night in late December in Europe (which happened to be one day in the USA) I made a phone call to my family wishing them a Merry Christmas. I had traveled across the Atlantic to see Christian, my boyfriend who I hadn’t seen for 9 months. I would love to see this relationship be closer of course yet it lives in darkness. I don’t mean it’s bad, just hard. It’s like when you are in a lit room and you turn the light off. At first you can not see anything so you have to be extra careful not to trip over something, bump into anything, and of course go quickly into bed and under the covers before the monster gets you. (Haha) After some time and adjustments the room is not so dark and you can see far more than you could at first. There are still a few things you can not see completely but for the most part it’s not so scary anymore. And that’s what I do in this long distance relationship. I must close my eyes, adjust, open them with the “inner light” allowing me to see what I couldn’t see. Because only then can I see enough to know this love is real and can survive.
Here I share a great struggle. It is hard to be far from someone you love. Do you know what that’s like? Maybe you are far from home. Maybe you haven’t found the love of your life so they seem far away. Maybe you lost someone you love and it hurts to not be able to reach them. There is dark and there is light. Two beautiful opposites.
I would begin my day in Europe thinking of all my family and friends back home who were sleeping, allowing themselves the rest darkness brings to be able to rise in the light.
Then I thought of all the things right in my life and what may be wrong. I realized there was no wrong. The opposite I was looking for was left. There is right and left. Now I know when something is not right in my life all it is, well, it’s left.
Here’s what I have left. I crossed a bridge in Marburg many times. One side was the place I was staying, the train station, the Spiegelslustturm Tower while on the other side of the Lahn River was the Old Town, Elisabethkirche (Gothic Church), and the Castle. One side was not better than the other. They had different things. I had to cross the bridge. Two ends.
I got to know myself a little more, living happily and peacefully on either end. Tough conditions can occur everywhere around you but it can never get inside your Self. Don’t let it. If you are hurting then realize it so you can let it go and close the door behind it. No matter how far I am from someone they are never far in my heart, but super close. Acceptance of darkness and light brings peace. Which side of the bridge is left and which is right? Perspective.
Keep crossing your bridges! If you find yourself at the edge of a river look for the nearest bridge, build one, or just wait. Yes, sometimes we have to keep walking to find the next one. Yes, sometimes we have to do a little extra work and be creative to build one. And some, such as the bridge to our loved ones who have left Earth we wait until it’s our turn to cross that bridge.
Got the world figured out?
I did, until it came crashing down. I had no choice but to start over and rebuild.