Maybe life is not how you imagined it to be. It could be things were going in the right direction and then it all fell apart. You are left. Frozen. Among a thousand broken pieces...
So first let me share
my Confession and my Life Lesson
3 Steps I have done that you can done (You'll see this in my 2min video)
Minute Meditation Vlog (2 min)
A CONFESSION: Broken into pieces
There was a part of me holding on to a teeny tiny bit of hope. This hope was to rebuild a relationship I had lost earlier this year. I was broken when I heard the words I never imagined I would hear. I was not wanted. I was the only one believing in something already broken. I didn't know why or how everything fell apart...not exactly. As a Virgo I felt a need to know all the unknown answers, so naturally they began entering my thoughts and finding a way to stay there. This time around I knew the pattern: I would search and annoy until I had my answers. But I chose to let go of all the questions. As much as it hurt, the quest for answers would hurt more. The pain I felt not knowing would not be relieved by knowing anything. Plus, I already learned in my twenties that knowing doesn't make it feel any better.
A LIFE LESSON: Put back together
It was Friday night when I was saying goodbye to a little girl who was off to grandma’s house for the weekend and also hoping to make it in time for the Olympic Opening Ceremony. She was buckled in the car when I gave her one last hug and before I could pull away she held onto me and said, “Sandy next time you need to go.”
I smiled at her and replied, “Now why would I go visit your Grandma?”
“No, I mean next time you need to compete in the Olympics. Because you love to run.” She said this with an innocent wisdom and of course a touch of limitless possibilities. With this one statement from a little girl my heart and soul were reconnected. I may not go to the Olympics in 2016 but I sure will go for the gold in my own life...always.
My dreams were broken and poured into my life like a rain shower. I didn’t expect it. And even if I did it would still hurt just as bad. Thats the truth! I’ve been ready for this with the lessons of my past and the new lesson a little girl taught me. I was broken and I put myself beautifully back together. I am the mosaic of my life’s experiences, choices, and lessons.
I do not deny my feelings. I embrace what comes up for me, like the nonstop questions desperate for answers or like a much needed cry. You see, we are all going to experience joy as well as pain. Even if its not the same experiences, it most definitely is the same joy and same pain.
So when I had to tell my heart it was finally time to say good bye… I cried, just once. I'm not sad on a daily basis. If I sit and think about it then of course I get sad. This ending was not death but it still feels like I lost someone.
But guess what? There is a new beginning for me...and for you. Embrace the life lessons and make your life count. Go for the gold! And when you stand there, just you (just me) with flowers and a medal around your neck...go ahead and cry your heart out because you deserve it!
July, for me, was also full of love and laughter:
I welcomed back my mom and dad from their 5 week vacation,
I dressed up as the Cat in the Hat for my nephew's bday party,
I got a skin rash that would refuse to go away,
a black labrador puppy is now a part of my life,
I met some great girls at a fun group class (TC BOOST),
I listened to the commercial for my website (WOW!),
I sent out my Query Letter (here's to a culture of creativity),
I listened to the Fire Starter Sessions about 30 times,
I have outlined characters in my next series,
Sunday walks with my parents,
I attended fun Farmer's Market's,
I started eating Chia seeds,
I bought 10 plantains,
I ate almost 10 plantains,
I finally let go of a man I loved so much.
Got the world figured out?
I did, until it came crashing down. I had no choice but to start over and rebuild.