I told you I would speak the truth about my life, what I lived each month, and of course the way I handled all of it. Normally February is a month full of birthday celebrations and parties, which it still was. This year it was more than that. My boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me on the count of the distance between us. He broke up with me early in the month at the same time when I found out my Godmother/Aunt was sick in the hospital.
I was not sure how to react to the breakup. I was sad but I knew he still loved me. I could understand the frustration of being far apart but I couldn’t help but feel unwanted. I didn’t let it consume me the way I have in the past. Instead I centered my focus on the translation of my book and I made last minute changes in my book coming out soon. I poured all the pain into my work.
It was a tough month with my Aunt who was in the hospital. I tried my best to spend as much time with her as possible. I wanted to give her and her family my love because I knew that no matter what I was going through in my life I had love to give.
We are human and that means we feel different emotions. In a time of loss I have accepted what has happened as well as my feelings around these events. It is not easy to do but it can be done. For me; acceptance and gratitude work perfectly together. In my time of reflection I have had a tremendous amount of gratitude for all that I have.
My Aunt/Godmother fought to the very end of her life with the will to live in spite of the cancer that had taken over. She faced death with all the will power and love she had. It occurred to me how her attitude could serve a purpose for those of us who face life. Do you face life with every ounce of your will power and love within? If not, why not?!
As I move forward in life I will be the leader of my life. That means being my greatest supporter, trusting in myself, giving all that I have to achieve my goals because I know it can be done! It even means letting go of what isn’t working, as much as it hurts.
The people who know me would know how I take risks, rarely letting fear hold me back. Fear has no place in life or in death. Instead I choose happiness, peace, and love. These qualities of the soul stay with us in life and in death. So it’s ok to be sad and cry. I have cried a lot and it helps release the pain. I am human and I accept these times of sorrow as part of the experience of life. Most importantly I move forward with the will to live...
..knowing myself to live happily and peacefully.
PS. Originally I wanted to post a video blog, but I forgot how much time it takes to make the video and prepare it. That is why after making the video I did write what you read above. I do want to still post the video so you can see the real me. Sad moments happen and you can see the sadness in my eyes, but that doesn’t mean I make my life be defined by it. I accept the truth, all the truth in my life; that is the only way to be happy around these types of situations. I hope you can do the same. Enjoy the video!
Got the world figured out?
I did, until it came crashing down. I had no choice but to start over and rebuild.